When reading book reviews (which I usually do before deciding to read a book), one thing that consistently bothers me is how quickly reviewers judge the main characters, especially romance heroines.
I see comments like:
“I hated the heroine.”
“She got on my nerves.”
“She was so annoying.”
“She’s too stupid.”
“She’s too naive.”
“She’s too aggressive.”
“She’s too…”
… and on and on it goes.
She’s always too something. For many reviewers, she’s never good enough.
She’s not allowed to need the hero because readers are tired of a damsel in distress, but she’s not allowed to be too independent, or she’s too progressive and feminist, and refusing help when you need it is foolish and pig-headed.
She has to be confident and flirty but also modest and demure.
She can’t be naive, but she can’t be too sex-positive either.
She has to be smart, both in academics and social situations.
She’s not allowed to be average in anything or doesn’t deserve the hero.
She has to be the best, but not so good that we’re jealous of her.
Why do we hold the heroines to such an impossible standard?
If anything, these criticisms reflect internalized misogyny.
These readers are entirely missing the point of reading romance. We are supposed to be able to see ourselves in the main characters and believe that someone like us deserves love and passion. Whether we’re bright, beautiful, or confident doesn’t matter—we all deserve love. There’s something worthy about each of us, whether we’re average or extraordinary.
Would we have these same expectations of our friends? Our sisters? Some of those reviewers may be judgmental of everyone, but I don’t believe that most of us would be that harsh in real life.
Now, I’m not saying that many of these same people don’t also criticize the heroes; they do. However, there is a higher frequency of complaints about heroines. That said, reviewers also complain when heroes are not smart enough, not confident enough, etc. (I’m sure there’s more, but the fact that I can’t think of more examples off the top of my head only serves to illustrate my point).
Perfect is boring. It’s far more interesting to read about conflict and character growth.
Is a person’s lovability measured by how intelligent they are? By how independent? By how unique? We can’t all be all of these things. We shouldn’t have to prove we’re good enough to be loved.
There are so many kinds of people in the world. I understand that some of us are tired of reading the same characters repeatedly, but that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with those characters. I’m all for diversity and inclusivity, but inclusivity doesn’t mean excluding average people, either.
I’ll end with a little poem I wrote:
There’s nothing wrong with being shy
There’s nothing wrong with being bold
There’s room under the sun
For everyone
It’s time to break the mold
P.S. Have we come up with a term yet for non-binary main characters? I’m not trying to exclude anyone. If you know of any terms or would like to suggest some, please leave a comment! But be respectful. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness, even if their views don’t align with yours.
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